fellowship

Paul and Daisy Soros Fellowship - Mike Alvarez

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The Paul & Daisy Soros Fellowships for New Americans is the premier graduate school Fellowship for immigrants and the children of immigrants. Every year, the organization awards thirty Fellowships to new Americans who are pursuing graduate education in the United States. Each award is worth up to $90,000 (up to $25,000/year stipend; up to $20,000/year tuition support). Awards support up to two years of full-time graduate study in any field, including the visual and performing arts, and at any graduate degree-granting institution in the United States, with the exception of online programs. In addition to funding, Fellows join a community of over 500 New Americans with family origins in over 75 different countries. The Fellowship program looks for applicants who have demonstrated and sustained accomplishments that show creativity, originality and initiative. In addition, the Fellowship looks for evidence that an applicant’s proposed graduate training is likely to enhance future creativity and accomplishment, that accomplishment is likely to persist and grow, and that the individual has a commitment to responsible citizenship in this country.

We reached out to Mike Alvarez, a recipient of the fellowship award from the Philippines, as he shared how he faced challenges in his life and his journey to get where he is today.

2014AlvarezMike Mike Alvarez Paul and Daisy Soros Fellowship Award to support a PhD in Communications

The social stigma of mental illness is Mike's subject of investigation. Having spent time in the mental health system himself, he would like to help increase public understanding of psychiatric disorders.

Mike was ten when his family left their comfortable lifestyle in the Philippines to move to a rough neighborhood in Jersey City. The transition proved bumpy, to say the least. After several months, Mike's father went home, leaving his mother as the family's sole support.

Instilled with a love for learning, Mike excelled at school--but a rift was opening up in his mental world. As an undergraduate at Rutgers University, he suffered from debilitating anxiety that turned into horrifying delusions and a suicide attempt. A stay in hospital was a turning point, steering him toward the study of mental health. Mike's senior thesis on the relationship between creativity and suicide won the Charles Flaherty Award and was subsequently expanded into his Master’s thesis at Goddard College.

Mike is currently enrolled in the Communications PhD program at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, where he is studying the phenomenon of cybersuicide. Recognizing the power of personal narratives, he has also completed a memoir about his own journey through mental illness.


1. Where and what do you see yourself doing in the next 5 years?

I have a lot of things lined up for the next 5 years, actually. Aside from completing my dissertation (on cybersuicide) and PhD in Communication at UMass-Amherst, I will also be writing/revising two books. The first book project, titled The Paradox Of Suicide & Creativity, has recently been picked up by Rowman & Littlefield's Lexington imprint. The second is a memoir recounting my past struggle with mental illness. I would eventually like to be a professor at a research-intensive university, and at the same time, be a public intellectual who links research with practice and activism.

2. What has been your greatest struggle/challenge and how did you overcome it?

One of the greatest struggles in my life had been contending with mental illness. Throughout college, I suffered from debilitating anxiety, depression, and paranoia, which culminated in a suicide attempt and admission to a mental hospital. It was a life-altering experience, one that assaulted my self-image as a competent person, because in a mental hospital you are infantilized. I overcame my symptoms through intensive psychotherapy, by being more open about my experiences with loved ones, and by refusing to see myself as a defective human being. When I use the words "mental illness," I mean it in an experiential rather than biological sense.

3. What has been your greatest motivation throughout your life?

When my family immigrated to the U.S., we traded our comfortable lifestyle in the Philippines for a financially and emotionally difficult one. I do not want my family to have any regrets coming here. I have worked very hard to seek opportunities for myself, so that I will one day be in a position to create opportunities for others in need. I want my family's immigration story to be a successful one in spite of all the hardships.

4. Who were your mentors?

I'm fortunate to have so many mentors, people who have been unwavering in their support and have gone beyond the role of advisor to nurture my abilities. One of them is George Atwood, Professor Emeritus at Rutgers University. He has been a friend and mentor for ten years now, ever since he supervised my senior thesis on suicide and creativity. Whenever I experience setbacks, he would always say to me: "Keep on keeping on." I'm also fortunate to have Professors Jarice Hanson and Martin Norden here at UMass-Amherst, who inspire me to take my work in new and surprising directions.

5. How did you hear about the fellowship?

Dr. Craig Harwood, Director of the Paul and Daisy Soros Fellowship Program, visited UMass-Amherst in Fall 2013 to lead an info session. I attended the session, and realizing that I was eligible, decided that I'd give applying a shot.

6. What made you decide to apply for the fellowship?

Several reasons. On the pragmatic end, the Fellowship would absolve me of departmental teaching obligations, which means more time for research, writing, and networking. The Fellowship stipend would also enable me to attend professional conferences and share my research more widely. On the symbolic end, the Soros Fellowship is a mark of distinction, a validation that the work I am doing is poised to make lasting contributions to society.

7. What was the biggest challenge when it came to deciding to pursue the field you're in?

I think the challenge is that my work is inherently interdisciplinary. Initially, I thought I was going to pursue a PhD in Clinical Psychology, which makes sense since my work revolves around suicide, trauma, and mental illness. I got a B.A. in Psychology from Rutgers, and did graduate coursework in psychology also. But then I realized that looking at these issues through the lens of one discipline wasn't going to satisfy me in the long run. I got an MFA in Creative Writing from Goddard College, and now, I'm doing a PhD in Communication at UMass-Amherst, with a dual focus on Technology & Society and Film Studies. These fields have opened up new avenues of inquiry for me--from studying representations of suicide in film and in popular culture, to examining how new media have shaped suicidal behavior.

8. As you gained more experience, how did your priorities change in life?

Having been mentally ill, I have learned to value time and moments of clarity, to make good use of every waking moment. I also try to make more room in my life for creative endeavors. One cannot live a purely intellectual life (or at least I can't). Even scholarly pursuits can benefit from small doses of creativity.

9. What’s been your favorite part about your journey in your personal life and in your career?

With regards to my career, my favorite part is seeing the hard work I've put in bear fruit, and being invited to speak at causes that are meaningful to me. For example, in March, UMass-Amherst had its first Out of the Darkness Walk for Suicide Prevention, where I spoke about my research on cybersuicide and my past struggle with suicidality. It can be so refreshing (and nerve-wracking!) to connect life inside the ivory tower with life outside--to link research with activism, and the professional with the personal.

With regards to my personal life, I am just thankful to be alive, that my life hadn't ended in college when it could have. If it had, I would have denied myself these amazing opportunities, as well as the chance to relish every joyful moment with friends, family and loved ones.

10. Would you recommend the fellowship to anyone else? Why/why not?

I would absolutely recommend that people apply for a Soros Fellowship. They have nothing to lose in applying. And if fortune smiles upon them, they become part of a supportive network filled with truly inspiring people that motivate you to do better and better work.

To find out more about the Paul and Daisy Soros Fellowship, visit their website at http://www.pdsoros.org/
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Paul and Daisy Soros Fellowship- Jassmin Poyaoan

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Paul and Daisy Soros, Hungarian immigrants and American philanthropists, established their fellowship program for New Americans in December 1997 with a charitable trust of fifty million dollars. Their reasons for doing so were several. They wished to "give back" to the country that had afforded them and their children such great opportunities and felt a fellowship program was an appropriate vehicle. They also felt that assisting young New Americans at critical points in their educations was an unmet need. Finally, they wished to call attention of all Americans to the extensive and diverse contributions of New Americans to the quality of life in this country. In 2010, Mr. and Mrs. Soros contributed an additional $25 million to the charitable trust that funds their Fellowships for New Americans.   For details, see the Wall Street Journal article at the end of this section.

The program of fellowships they shaped has the following characteristics:

It honors and supports the graduate educations of 30 New Americans – permanent residents or naturalized citizens if born abroad; otherwise children of naturalized citizen parents -- each year.

At the time of their selection, fellows must be college seniors or early in the graduate programs for which they request support.

Each fellow receives tuition and living expenses that can total as much as $90,000 over two academic years.

Fellows can study in any degree-granting program in any field at any university in the United States.

Fellows are selected on the basis of merit – the specific criteria emphasize creativity, originality, initiative and sustained accomplishment -- in annual national competitions.  Candidates apply directly.  The program does not depend on recommendations from universities or regional screening.   Neither financial need nor distributive considerations are taken into account in the selection process.

Each fellows attends two weekend conferences of fellows. The great majority continue to be involved with the program through regional dinners, service in the selection process for later classes, etc.

The snippet above comes from the Paul and Daisy Soros Fellowship website. We reached out to Jassmin Antolin Payaon, a recipient of the fellowship award from the Philippines, to come to know of her drive, background and the challenges she faced leading up to her involvement with the fellowship.

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Jassmin Antolin Poyaoan Paul and Daisy Soros Fellowship Award to support work toward a JD

Jassmin comes from a line of resilient women. Her grandmother left school to support her family, raising herself from a domestic worker to a small business owner. Her mother emigrated from the Philippines to become a nurse in California and worked tirelessly to support the family.

When Jassmin was almost twelve, her mother died, and her father could not cope. Jassmin and her sister were sent to the Philippines to live with their grandmother. In the Philippines, Jassmin observed that even the brightest girls were forced by economic necessity to downscale their dreams. Determined not to compromise, she returned to America at age seventeen, taking legal custody of her sister and responsibility for their sick grandmother.

Jassmin attended Chabot College and then the University of California-Berkeley, where she studied sociology. As part of Oxfam's ActionCorps, she lobbied the US government for climate change policy after typhoon Ketsana devastated Manila. At home, Jassmin built capacity for immigrant-owned small businesses and served with JusticeCorps assisting low-income, self-represented litigants.

Jassmin attends the UCLA School of Law, where she is part of the programs in Public Interest Law and Policy and Critical Race Studies. She will use her JD to help underserved communities rise above systemic poverty.


1. Where and what do you see yourself doing in the next 5 years?

I see myself working for a nonprofit law center providing free legal services to individuals, groups and nonprofits to build and grow wealth in low-income communities of color through community-owned enterprises.

2. What has been your greatest struggle/challenge and how did you overcome it?

The greatest challenge in my life is navigating and dealing with the inter-generational trauma in my family. Poverty both in the U.S. and in the Philippines, untimely deaths and addiction have challenged my family's stability. I have faced these challenges by refusing to continue the unhealthy cycles and seeking services and solace from the community to heal. Part of healing is learning and understanding my family's history and taking advantage of the privileges that I have despite any hardship I may face.

3. What has been your greatest motivation throughout your life?

My grandmother, mother and younger sister have been my greatest motivation throughout my life. My grandmother and mother both instilled in me the desire and determination to realize my dreams, as they did not have the opportunity to realize their own. Through their example of selflessness and compassion for others, they have also motivated me to not only dream for myself, but to strive to help others realize their dreams, too. After our mother passed away, I vowed to raise and guide my younger sister, which helped me push through any and all hardships we faced. Today, as a sophomore in college who is dedicated to community organizing and advocacy, my sister now motivates me to be a better advocate myself.

4. Who were your mentors?

My speech and debate coach was the closest thing to a mentor for me because of his constant belief in me even when I didn't believe in myself. When my confidence was low and I wanted to quit, he convinced me to compete at a state competition before I made up my mind. I ended up winning a gold medal at the competition and needless to say, I decided not to quit. This was a turning point in my life because it helped me begin the process of overcoming self-doubt and fear of realizing my potential.

5. How did you hear about the fellowship?

In my first year of law school, there was an information session about the fellowship on campus.

6. What made you decide to apply for the fellowship?

I was too intimidated to apply for the fellowship during my first year of law school, which I think is a common reason why people choose not to apply. However, in my second year of law school, I thought I owed it to myself to at least try. It would've been my last opportunity to apply, so I didn't want to be in a position where I could look back and think, "what if?"

7. What was the biggest challenge when it came to deciding to pursue the field you're in?

My father put a lot of pressure on me to enter the workforce right out of undergrad to support the family. Knowing that my grandmother and mother had to forgo their dreams in order to provide for their parents and siblings, I wanted to honor their legacy by pursuing my dream to become a lawyer no matter what. It's been a challenge to balance my dreams and my family's expectations of me, but remembering the women who came before me helps me manage.

8. As you gained more experience, how did your priorities change in life?

My personal, academic and professional experiences have broadened my understanding of structural inequality and its causes. As a result, I have become even more dedicated to assisting marginalized people and communities of color.

9. What’s been your favorite part about your journey in your personal life and in your career?

My favorite part about my journey is the relationships I've made along the way. For me, the most important and lasting aspect of life is the relationships one cultivates and cherishes throughout.

10. Would you recommend the fellowship to anyone else? Why/why not?

Yes, I would recommend the fellowship to anyone who qualifies because the application process alone offers a valuable opportunity for deep self-reflection, as you're required to write very personal essays. Also, the fellowship itself is an amazing opportunity for funding and membership in a community of inspirational and caring individuals who really become family. 

To find out more about the Paul and Daisy Soros Fellowship, visit their website at http://www.pdsoros.org/
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